Courage...

Yesterday i recieved a text from my bestest guy friend/big brother Tim. He's a sweetheart. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. And I simply told him 'courage.' this is for more than just one thing. The main reason was to see if i could find the stregnth and courage to get rid of someone who pretty much blocks me out of his life unless he wants sex. I'm getting to the point in my life to where I want to really settle down and maybe start a family. I was supposed to do that with Jon, but he decides to keep me out of his life. I mean HELLO!!! you're supposed to marry me and not even tell me what the hell you're doing!! I mean hell, it's like everything he does now pisses me off. But then again i guess it's pretty bad when your boss even tells you to get rid of him. I know exactly why he said it to. He said it because the job I have as a dispatcher is so high-stressed, I need to be as stress-free in my private life as much as possible, and with jon being gone all the damn time, it's nothing but stress on me. I mean, i'm not guna quit my job, just because a guy stresses me out just as much as as my job does.

My lil sis Sara. Damn i feel sorry for her. she broke it off with her bf of almost 2 or 3 years. Her and I kinda had the same relationship problem. boyfriend calls when he wants to or feels like it, so basically every 3 weeks it seemed. and then never wanting to do anything unless they wanted something. I guess guys will never change.

Christmas. Damn. I hate that holiday. I don't know why, but every year, for me, it seems to get shittier. I get to the point to where i can care less about what i get. I dont even see why it's such a big holiday. now-a-days it's like the kids get spoiled with toys galore and they get played with a few times and the totally forgotted about, and left out in the yard to get ruined or left in the attic or closet to gather dust. I know this is guna sound like super greedy of me, but I honestly think that I would be happy with the money they spent on me. Hell, i'd save it for a rainy day.

Work. A dreded 4-letter word. I think would should be considered a bad word. Especially for where I work. I have a story to tell ya'll! (yay! story time!)

Anywho, back a few months ago when we were hiring for a 5th dispatcher. well, they ended up hiring one of my classmates (i wont mention her name). anywho, back in the day her and i were so-so friends. we'd talk every now and then, but we never like hung out or anything like that. and there were points in high school where her and i just hated eachother. well, she was cool and everything when she got hired on, never really bothered me. well, she'd constantly show up late or never show at all. haha. But last sunday, on the 17th, she did the most dumbest thing EVER! she came to work drunk. Well, the 17th was my day off. Ya know, I was looking forward to sleeping in until at least noon and then getting up and doing laundry and cleaning my room. nopes. at 10:30, my brother willie knocks on my bedroom door and tells me that Brandon is on the phone for me. Of course me and how tired i was forgot that Brandon was one of the officers. well, he tells me that the dispatcher on duty is passed out and no one can wake her up. he said that the bosses told him to have either myself or mom go into work. i told him i'd be there shortly. I showed up and there she was still passed out. I got a sneaking suspision that she might be drunk. I told Brandon to do a PBT (Preliminary Breath Test) on her. He did and she was drunk! (horray for me for being smart!). I ended up staying at work for 10 hours. which doesn't hurt me any, im jus pissed that I had to cancle my day off and had to miss my nail appointment! Man my nail tech is pissed at me for that. Anywho, I should get going, my shift is almost over with.

XOXO

Nikki