He's Home!

Well, Bucky came home about a half week early. the worse part is tho, it seemed as if he didn't want to see me. It's just been one of those relationships where u feel as if it's going no where. I want us to last. I mean hell, he asked me to marry him back in may. I said yes of course but with conditions. He has to ask my dad first and then he has to get down on one knee (with ring in hand) and ask me. hey...rules are rules. I've known all along that the military life style isn't gonna be easy. I knew it'd be rough, but hell, i didn't know it would be this bad. last night i stayed bucky's house. It was fun. but i mean it was like all he wanted me there for was the fucking. Yea, it was fabulous, don't get me wrong but there is more to a relationship than just great sex. I can write out my emotions better than i can say them. but i mean its hopeless to try and tell any guy anything! All it does is go in one ear and out the other. I learn from my mistakes, but it's one mistake i can't learn from! if he wants to marry me so bad then why can't he listen to what i have to say?! I am a human to! its just like talking to a brick wall. it's pointless and makes no sense at all. i mean he won't even go for the idea of me and him gettin married in front of the justice of the peace while he's here and then when he comes back from over seas, we'd have a real ceremony. I mean hell, is that so much to ask? I dunno. so i'm not callin our 'engagement' official until he does those two simple things. and if he does decide to go with my plan i will be the HAPPIEST person alive.
anywho, on a happier note, i was going thru a thought process and i was thinking about taking my dog Shadow over to play with Karls dog Tucker. Then i got to thinking that wouldn't be a good idea cuz Ducey would be there, which is Val's dog. Then i was slowing thinking about and it hit me. STD! I don't know why, but this sick joke made me laugh. the three of us, out dogs initials are STD. Im sick, i know. I hope within the next few months, i can have my own laptop. it'd be kick ass and then i wouldn't have to be using my parents computer all the time and then i can sit in the comfort of my own bed! hehe >:)
anywayz, i should get going. i'm still tired and worn out from last night!
Peace out girl scout!
Nikki <3