Just another day

Well, it's been a while since i have written anything on here. I need to stop neglecting this page. Just when I thought my relationship with Bucky was going in a downward spiral it seemed to have gotten a violent shove back into serious. He's in Sasebo Japan right now. Truthfully i do miss him. true things were seriously shitty and i was thinking of leaving him but he changed all that. I'm not sure what changed his mind, but i kinda like the out come. I mean hell, when he was home back in july, it was the worst time of my life. true it was great to see him and have him home for that time, but he didn't want to spend any time with me.

The day before our 7month anniversary, he asked me to marry him over the phone while he was in chicago. which i said yes to, but only with conditions to where he had to ask my dad and he had to do the whole get down on one knee and do it the right way. needless to say that didn't happen.

Just when i was almost sure that our relationship was non-exsistant he surprises me yet again. He messages me on yahoo while i was at work(when i'm at work or asleep i'm on mobile messenger). So we were talking and he said he wanted to ask me a few questions. Well, he said he wanted to call me so i gave him my number at work to call. Within about 20 minutes he called and basically the first thing out of his mouth is "I'm sober!" and I was thinking to myself that something is going to be leading up to what he had just said. Sure enough he asked me (again) to marry him over the phone. I told him I wasn't sure. and he said that he was serious this time cuz he was sober. OMFG! I wanted to wring his neck! I freaked! I told him i thought he was serious the last time that he asked me and yet he never followed thru with his end of the deal. I told him how can i be sure that he's serious this time and wont chicken out again. I mean it was one of the weirdest weeks let a lone him asking me again.

We had made plans after all of this for me to go out there the week before Thankgiving. Well, that got shot down thanks to this wonderful job of mine. I do love this job but i mean i wanted to go out there ASAP. I can't go the week of Thanksgiving cuz of my mom taking vacation. She has seniority over me so she gets to call vacation before i can. I have two people ahead of me that can claim vacation before i do. which is my mom and Bud. Only one i need to really worry about is my mom. The great thing about taking my vacation in December is that i am gonna have more vacation time saved up! So i can be out there for more than 4 days now hopefully i can be out there for atleast 5 or 6 and come back and have time for some R & R at home when i get home. The day before i leave i plan on gettin my tongue pierced so when I get back it's healed and i can talk normally. guna piss my dad off to no end, but oh well it's my body and i'm 19 so i think i can do what i want. true i still live under their roof and under their rules, maybe i'll hide it when i get home. I wanna stay in a hotel the night before i leave so i don't have to wake up at 3 and be up at the airport to take a 6:30 flight. true that means mom and dad can't see me before i leave but i think they'll survive. I think they want to get me out of the house for a while. I'm guna miss my dog tho! She's my life. She's like my child. Kinda pathetic i'm sure, but oh well, i don't care what people think of that. A lot of people claim their pets as their kids. Talking about kids, Bucky was talking about starting a family. That's not guna happen. Cuz knowing the dumb luck that i have, my stupid vaction won't happen until mid-late january and i'd get pregnant by him and i'd be due around the time of the wedding. I jus hope that doesn't happen. I want to go out in early to mid December. I more than likely will be gone around the 4th until 9th or maybe leave around the 13th and come back around the 17th or 18th. I think i might do that because i will be there over our anniversary. which is guna be our 1year 2 month.

I can't believe i've been with him for 11 months already! We started dating In october of 2005 a week after i got out of the hospital. he was home until january right before our 3rd month together when he went to boot. and then i saw him in March for about 3 days after he graduated from boot. then he was gone in chicago still but we talked at least 4-5 times a week at least. then he came home in july and i saw him at least twice a week and they were in a row. then he left on the 19th for Japan. and I haven't seen him since. yea true i've seen him in pics and on cam but not in person. and now all of a sudden he wants to make things right and fly me out there.
(The whole point of that last paragraph was to state that i've only seen him maybe only a total of 3 1/2 months out of 11 months. usually relationships like you see crumble at around the 5th or 6th month. I am amazed to see that i have made it this long.)

We've set a wedding date. Well i set the date he just agreed. we planned it for our 2 yr anniversary which is october 15, 2007. which means once (if) he officially proposes when i'm in japan with him, it gives me about 9-10 months to get things offically planned. I mean i got some of the basics down. I have 2 photographers, someone to do hair, someone to do nails, i have my brides maids picked out and i have my maid of honor picked. Next week my mom and i are going to go look at dresses. I'm hoping to lose 20-30 pounds by next year. kinda hard tho at my job, cuz all i do is sit. Yea i'll walk around the office but that's only a small space. Oh well. It's kinda hard to figure out where to have the wedding and the reception. I mean there are some wonderful churches here in Hardin and a good place to hold a wedding reception. the only thing is tho is that if i want it in Hardin, it's guna make it look like it's in my favor. which isn't good. I mean I don't want it to look like it's all about me i am also trying to keep it in favor of the families/friends that are coming from out of town. i'm also trying to keep it on a low budget. maybe have it here in hardin and have the reception at the fairgrounds. there's a $500 deposit and then i have to get certificates to serve food and alcohol. which shouldn't be too hard. maybe i can do that. I might just have to stick with that. I don't know yet, there's still 12 months to go before everything is finalized. HAHA i'm trying to think of a check list of EVERYTHING that needs to get done before the wedding (or my funeral).

I can't believe the weather! it's been raining non stop for the past couple of days. I love it but i hate it. Can that be possible? I love it because it reminds me of being in Seattle and in Chicago. Mostly seattle tho, cuz it rained a lot there. in chicago, it was jus cool and damp. it's collected over an inch already! yay! we need the moisture tho!

Well, it's been fun! I gotta get goin for now! Maybe i'll write tmorrow when i'm at work. this has passed the time. It's been keeping me more occupied than anything.